Tag: self

Connection Begins With You

Welcome to Day 4 of 31 Days of Connection! If you have missed any of the posts, hop on over to Day 1 and you’ll find each post linked up there as they are published.

connection

Connection With Yourself

What do I mean by that? Am I saying you should sign up for your own email list and follow your own Facebook page? You should do those things (hey – you should be your own biggest fan), but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about connecting with your inner self. The inner self that gets neglected and is probably part of the reason you’re drawn to a series on connection, actually. I’m suggesting to you that you should put some effort toward yourself first before making efforts to reach out and connect with others. If you neglect yourself, your efforts at connecting with others will still work, but may fall a little short or feel a little hollow.

Connecting with yourself is about taking a timeout from your busy day (I know, I know – easier said than done) and thinking, planning, dreaming. It’s asking yourself questions and actually listening to the answers. If you’re Christian, it involves even more – reading and listening to Scripture and praying – self can’t be trusted without some guidance from the Holy Spirit.

This timeout for yourself needs to have as little distraction as possible and as much quiet as possible in order for you to really be able to think. That may mean getting up earlier, going to bed later, locking yourself in the bathroom, stepping outside, sitting in your car, or an extra-long shower (not really recommended when we are in a drought situation). I’m not saying it needs to be an hour though that would be great. Try for just 15 minutes each day. If you’re in a season where even 15 minutes is almost impossible – then try for 10, or even 5. Make it a priority.

connection

How to Connect

This is the time to ask yourself all sorts of questions, like: Why am I overreacting to certain things? Why do I keep struggling with this one issue? What about myself have I been neglecting? What help do I need and how can I ask for it? What would I most like to do if I had a full day of doing anything? What dreams have I been pushing out of my mind? Are there baby steps I could take toward making those dreams a reality someday? But it’s not just about trying to answer questions.

Questions help you get to the root of things you are struggling with or missing. But you should talk to yourself as well and remind yourself of a few things, like: I am precious. I can strive to do better than yesterday, but do not have to be perfect (perfection is impossible – only Jesus was perfect). It’s okay to admit that I need help and that I need connection with other people. I can set goals and make plans and take small steps to move forward. I can love myself and love others, in spite of any faults.

connection

How you connect with yourself is up to you – questioning, talking, praying, reading, crying, dreaming, planning, writing, or some other way. There are so many ways and it will look different for each person. The point is to take that time and do it. Then you’ll be in a better position to work on connection with others and to improve your personal and professional relationships.

Day 4 Daily Connection Challenge:
Take 5-15 minutes as a timeout today to connect with yourself. If you’re Christian, you get an extra layer to the challenge – use your timeout to also read a Psalm (if you need a place to start, try Psalm 34) and pray.


Thank you for joining me for Day 4 of 31 Days of Connection! Are you signed up to receive these posts in your email inbox? Click the link today and git ‘r done! Come on back for Day 5 and a way to connect that anybody can easily do.

Do You Struggle With Self-Doubt?

Do you struggle with self-doubt? Newsflash: Everybody does. In fact, that’s really more of a rhetorical question, isn’t it? I’d like to share my thoughts about self-doubt and find out how some of you have overcome this issue.

Do You Struggle WithSelf-Doubt- (2)

Honestly, now that my age is in the middle of a certain decade beyond the thirties, I find that I struggle less with self-doubt than I did years ago. It’s not really that I think I’m more awesome as I get older. It’s more that I know that most of us struggle with something, and perfection simply cannot be achieved (though we should still strive to improve). But even with that knowledge and a strong sense of confidence in one area or another, wow – does that self-doubt show up SO quickly and almost take over!

Experiencing Self-Doubt

We experience self-doubt in just about everything: our spiritual walk, marriages, parenting abilities, job knowledge, hobbies, service, writing, blogging, Facebook Live video (had to mention it because I tried it for the first time yesterday and felt like nobody was going to watch or care!). I’m not saying that it would be good that we forge ahead in everything that we do, never wondering if we’re doing the right thing or could do something better. I think there is a healthy amount of doubt that can be helpful and point you in a new direction.

When I’m talking about struggling with self-doubt, I mean that sudden feeling that you are not worthy or good enough to do what you are trying to do or that you are making a very bad decision and why in the world did you ever think you could do this and you wonder if everybody is shaking their head, thinking “What is she doing?” It can be overwhelming and make you suddenly quit the very thing you are doing. That is not healthy doubt. Fight through it, friends. It’s okay to take a step back and look at everything objectively, but don’t let it scare you away from doing something awesome or even doing the regular daily things that we all need to push through and move forward.

I’ve experienced that feeling many times in the past in motherhood and jobs and marriage and on and on. I experience it less now, but it still pops up unexpectedly. I started a new job and of course had to learn all new things which always makes me question myself about 3 days in wondering if I can really do the job (yes, I can and already learned a bunch and am improving). And then restarting this blog was another experience. I have been working really hard on planning and writing posts. All it took was one day of almost no views of a post that I had worked so hard on for me to suddenly feel like maybe I shouldn’t be trying to blog again and what was I thinking – why would anybody want to hear what I have to say? Happy to say that I conquered those feelings and am forging ahead anyway, but I was really caught off guard at how overwhelming that feeling was and how quickly it came on. It helps to be on the lookout for it and realize that it may be a fleeting feeling and 24 hours later you’ll be fine. So never make any rash decisions when you feel that self-doubt – wait a bit!

overcoming self-doubt

Overcoming Self-Doubt

Try to remember that NOBODY is perfect and EVERYBODY experiences self-doubt about something! We’re all here trying to do the best that we can. And don’t worry too much about what others think – keeping on with what you’re doing isn’t always about others. Sometimes it’s just about you. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help, advice, and encouragement when needed. People can’t always read your mind and know to give you the blessing of that extra boost that you need. If you’re experiencing some self-doubt right now, take a deep breath, take a mental step back and think about whether your self-doubt is reasonable. Consider me your encouragement today that you should keep moving forward! You are more amazing than you know – don’t wait for others to tell you that in order to believe it. You are worthy and what you do does make a difference even when you don’t think it does. Have confidence, hold your head up high, and power on!

This post didn’t quite go where I originally meant it to, but I’m not going to have any self-doubt about it. Obviously somebody needs some encouraging words today and I hope that you find them here and are blessed by them!

What things are causing you to experience self-doubt? Have you felt overwhelmed by it? What helps you to overcome it? Share in the comments and help the rest of us! Thanks for joining in, friends!