Month: September 2016

31 Days of Connection

Welcome to 31 Days of Connection! It’s been a while since I jumped on board with #writing31days (actually I only did it one other time 3 years ago on my other blog). The posting on this blog has been scarce lately but what better way to get back up and running than with daily posts for the month of October!

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31 Days of Connection

What do I mean by Connection? When we look at all of our relationships, whether with our families or friends or with strangers or customers, we see that we need good relationships in all of these areas in order to have a meaningful life. Good relationships happen because of connection. Though connection can happen instantly, it usually comes from putting forth effort and needs continued effort and improvement in order to sustain those connections.

Brené Brown has a great quote about Connection:

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

If you take a step back and look at your life, I think you’ll see that focusing on connection in your personal and professional life will yield growth for you and richer, stronger relationships all around. I’m writing this series for myself as well. I can see that I need to put some work into achieving and maintaining connection in many areas. And I think we should work on it together!

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I will be posting about the many different ways we connect and how we can work to improve those. Some ways will be obvious; some will be more subtle; and some will overlap with each other. By breaking this topic down into daily chunks, we can take just a few minutes each day to think about a way that we connect and focus on it for that day. Each day I will be including a challenge related to that topic. This is to help us get out of our comfort zone a little and work to improve our many relationships.

I will be including the links to all the posts right here for you, so if you miss any along the way, just come back here and click on your favorites. Are you ready? Let’s do this!

Day 1 Connection Challenge:
Go to write31days.com (Go to “Linking Up” at the top, hover over it and click on the category you wish to start with – you’ll find everyone who has linked up in that category so far. I’m listed in Personal Endeavors.) and pick out some favorite 31 Day series that you want to follow in October.

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31 Days of Connection Post Links

Day 1: You’re here!
Day 2: Connect with Lisa Marie
Day 3: The Daily Connection Challenge Checklist
Day 4: Connection Begins With You
Day 5: Connecting With a Smile
Day 6: Connection Through Intimacy
Day 7: Connecting Through Touch
Day 8: Connecting With Family
Day 9: Connecting With Friends
Day 10: Connecting By Phone
Day 11: Connection Through Love Languages
Day 12: Connecting Through Acts of Service and Kindness
Day 13: Connect Through Hospitality
Day 14: Connecting at Social Events
Day 15: Connecting at Work
Day 16: 10 Ways to Connect Through Employee Appreciation
Day 17: How to Connect Through Exceptional Customer Service
Day 18: Connect by Sending Cards and Letters
Day 19: 10 Best Practices for Connecting Through Email
Day 20: Connect by Writing Books and Stories
Day 21: Connect by Blogging
Day 22: Connect by Commenting
Day 23: Connecting Through Images
Day 24: 10 Ways to Connect on Facebook
Day 25: How to Connect in Facebook Groups
Day 26: Ways to Connect on Pinterest
Day 27: Connecting on Instagram
Day 28: Why You Should Connect on LinkedIn
Day 29: Connecting Through Video
Day 30: Connect Through Public Speaking
Day 31: Keep Working on Connection


Thank you so much for joining me on this journey through 31 Days of Connection. Leave a comment and let me know what your personal connection goals are. See you back here for Day 2! Click here to sign up to receive all the posts right in your inbox.

My Infertility Story – Part 2

WarningI share my full infertility story here, including miscarriage details. This may be too emotional for some people and disturbing for others.


If you have not yet read Let’s Talk About Infertility – please read that first as an introduction to the subject. And then read Part 1 of My Infertility Story. The story continues and finishes here. Why am I sharing it? By speaking up and sharing about my own struggles, I hope to show you that you are not alone in your struggles and to encourage you to step forward and share. Infertility shouldn’t be a secret subject and we should feel comfortable telling others that we are struggling and that we are not okay! My story is actually about secondary infertility but I hope that you find value in it if you are experiencing infertility of any kind. Here is Part 2 of my own infertility story.

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From Part 1:

And then, out of the blue, we were surprised by a pregnancy. My cycle was late and I took a test which turned out positive, much to my great surprise! We thought we would finally have another baby, since the pregnancy happened without us stressing or any help from medication. The baby checked out okay at our appointment as well, so we were cautiously optimistic. Everything changed just a few weeks later…

My Infertility Story – Part 2

We had an appointment scheduled near 12 weeks into the pregnancy. If everything checked out, we planned to start telling people that I was pregnant. We did end up telling close family only at this point. Sadly, at the appointment, the doctor and nurse discovered that the baby had already passed away – probably around 10 weeks. It was harder to cope with than in the past because this particular pregnancy had seemed like it was progressing better than any in the past.

At that point, I had a difficult decision to make – either to have a procedure done to remove the baby and scrape the uterus or to let the body miscarry the baby when ready. With either choice, there was risk of hemorrhaging. I decided that letting it happen naturally when my body was ready sounded like the better option. I now wish I had decided differently.

Over 2 weeks went by and I did not have any miscarriage. We had a vacation already scheduled and hoped everything would be okay until we got back from our trip. We left on our already-planned vacation to Montana. While there, we took a side trip through Glacier National Park and enjoyed ourselves. On the drive back from Glacier Park to my parents’ house, I started feeling miserable and realized that the actual process of miscarriage was beginning.

When we got back to my parents’ house, I went immediately to bed, bleeding and in pain. Later, I had to stay in the bathroom for a couple of hours because of the almost non-stop bleeding. We were very concerned about hemorrhaging but I wanted to hold off for a while since the hospital was only a 2-minute drive from the house if we needed to go. Finally, the bleeding seemed to slow just the smallest bit so we decided that I didn’t need to go to the hospital.

The whole process was not only very painful, but very scary, especially the fact that we had to go through it while not being at home. It was emotionally exhausting for both my husband and me. It really was horrible and I wouldn’t want to repeat that experience. Thankfully, at some point I was able to rest and then stayed in bed the next day. I felt sorry for my father and stepmother, though they were very sweet. It’s awkward going through a personal and painful experience in someone else’s home, even if they are family.

That miscarriage affected us more than the others. We had our hopes up that this pregnancy was going to be a successful one. This miscarriage was far more traumatic than the others had been. One of the after-effects, and I’m guessing it’s the same for many women who go through this, is that I developed a fear of getting pregnant. Though on the one hand I wanted to get pregnant and have another child, I also secretly hoped that I would not get pregnant again so that I wouldn’t have a chance of experiencing another miscarriage.

There are definitely psychological issues that go along with infertility – don’t beat yourself up thinking that you should be handling everything well. Don’t feel guilty when experiencing feelings of resentment, anger, heartbreak, fear, failure, low self-worth, and more. Having these feelings while struggling with infertility does not make you a bad person. It’s important to be honest about your feelings (they are normal and you are not the only one experiencing them) so that you can deal with them and ask for help, if needed.

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One of the issues that comes up and catches you off guard when you are struggling is hearing a friend or family member announce their pregnancy. I still remember a couple of announcements happening while I was in the midst of infertility. Though my mind knew that I wanted to be happy for them, my heart could not catch up. I faked my smiles and hugs as my thoughts went to wondering why them and why not me and why would they be so bold as to announce a pregnancy so early, when a miscarriage could happen at any time. The things that helped me were prayer and time, but I think if I had opened up and discussed these feelings with somebody, that would have been very helpful as well.

After going through that hardest miscarriage, my medical provider had me listed for three “official” miscarriages (I know that I had more early ones but never officially documented them). This fact triggered genetic testing, which I went ahead and did. When the results were in, I got a phone call. The lab discovered that I had a Protein S deficiency. While not as serious as a protein C deficiency, this does mean that I have an increased risk of developing an abnormal blood clot.

The counselor went over behaviors I should change, medications I should avoid, and recommended that I take a baby aspirin every day as a preventative measure. She said that it may have been a contributing factor in the miscarriages though not the only explanation for not having another child as we also should have conceived more often. The protein deficiency is important to know about for any possible future surgeries I have. It actually was a blessing to have discovered this important health information.

I never had another miscarriage like that one. I had one or two very early miscarriages sometime after that, similar to my first ones and so early that I hadn’t tested for pregnancy yet. There have been no other pregnancies that I am aware of for the last few years. I assume that due to my age, there is not much chance of getting pregnant anymore, though technically it is still possible.

I can’t just say “The End” and leave the story there because you will think this is all so sad and feel sorry for me. You need to know that I’m not sad anymore. I did not pray for God to make me pregnant, but rather prayed for His will to be done – no matter what that was and to give me contentment either way.

I don’t know the reasons why we were only meant to have one child, but our son is certainly a fabulous child and would be hard to top! And we have been able to bless others in many ways over the years, with babysitting, giving rides, making meals, helping financially, etc. that we may not have been able to do as easily if we had a larger family. Over time, God did help me find contentment – it was gradual until I realized one day that I was perfectly happy with and thankful for my little family.

Infertility

If you are in the midst of struggling with infertility right now or are still dealing with the pain of it from the past, I pray for peace and contentment for you. And I offer you a giant virtual hug! It is not easy and it is painful and often feels lonely. Do reach out and talk about it with family and friends, even if you feel like you’ll make them uncomfortable and they don’t know the right things to say. Ask for prayer and ask friends to just be there for you to listen to you and support you. I’d love to hear from you – I welcome your comments right here on the post as well as on my Facebook page.

Thank you for being here to read my story. Click here to sign up and receive my blog posts by email so you’ll know when I post and we can stay connected.